What We Lose
[NOTE: ALL VOICES IN THIS EPISODE WHEN IN THE TUNNELS CARRY THE DISTINCTIVE ECHO TO VARYING DEGREES]
[CLICK]
[SOUNDS OF LIGHT BREATHING IN SLEEP]
[SOME AGITATION MOVEMENTS, AND MARTIN AWAKES WITH A START]
MARTIN
John?
[TURNS OVER TO CHECK]
[Surprised] Ah! Argh! Stop it! John!
[THE ARCHIVIST WAKES UP]
ARCHIVIST
[Muzzily] Mm, what? What? What is it? What…?
MARTIN
Sorry. Sorry, I – It’s fine. I was… I was just startled. We’ve not been many places you can sleep, so I –
ARCHIVIST
So, what?
MARTIN
You were sleeping with your eyes open again.
ARCHIVIST
Ah. Right.
MARTIN
J-just took me by surprise.
ARCHIVIST
Sorry. Not something I can help, I’m afraid.
MARTIN
No, I, I know. I know. I’m sorry. It’s okay.
[MARTIN SIGHS]
[FABRIC RUSTLES]
ARCHIVIST
Bad dream?
MARTIN
Is there any other kind?
ARCHIVIST
Fair.
MARTIN
Speaking of, how are your dreams? I know they used to be… y’know, complicated.
ARCHIVIST
I don’t know. I don’t really remember them anymore. Honestly, it’s not really even sleep these days. I can only do it when I’m disconnected from… well everything, and it’s more like… You know that feeling when you’re right on the edge of falling asleep? Not quite dreaming, but not aware of stuff either?
MARTIN
Huh. So, like, standby mode then?
ARCHIVIST
[Soft laugh] I suppose.
What was I like at Salesa’s?
MARTIN
Oh, you’d just completely conk out. Eyes open, obviously, cos god forbid the creepy ever stops entirely, heh, but –
ARCHIVIST
Thank you.
MARTIN
– you’d just be dead to the world. I actually got a bit worried, once or twice, but you always woke up fine. You said you didn’t dream. Sounded pretty happy about it too.
ARCHIVIST
I imagine I was.
MARTIN
…
Hey, I meant to ask. Do you recognise that woman, Celia?
ARCHIVIST
Um… no, I, I don’t think so. Why?
MARTIN
I’d swear she gave a statement once.
ARCHIVIST
What statement? I don’t… remember anything. Wh– Not down here at least.
MARTIN
It was… [mumbles something softly]
I thought she was making stuff up! Heh. I gave her some money.
ARCHIVIST
Why?
MARTIN
Sh-she asked.
ARCHIVIST
Right. Do you think she remembers?
MARTIN
I mean, she doesn’t seem to remember her own name, so I’m guessing… No?
ARCHIVIST
You could ask?
MARTIN
Well, no, that’d just be weird. I mean –
[SOFT WOODEN KNOCKING]
Hello?
[DOOR OPENS]
UNNAMED
Sorry. Didn’t wake you, did I? They asked me to check in on you.
ARCHIVIST
No, it’s fine, we were up.
MARTIN
Don’t think we’ve met. I’m Martin, this is John.
[RUSTLING AND SOUNDS OF BAG OPENING AS THEY START MOVING AROUND]
ARCHIVIST
Hello.
UNNAMED
[Suspicious] Right.
MARTIN
And you are…?
UNNAMED
[Firmly] No.
MARTIN
“No”? As in your name’s No?
UNNAMED
No, as in ‘you don’t get to know my name’. I’m not stupid.
ARCHIVIST
Is that so?
UNNAMED
Names are how they see you; they’re how they find you in the files. You can hide all you want, but if they know your name, they can see you. And take you away.
ARCHIVIST
I see.
UNNAMED
I tell people my name, then maybe they learn it. Then they come for all of us. You shouldn’t have told me yours. I keep telling the others! Only the prophet names are safe.
ARCHIVIST
That’s not how it works!
MARTIN
[warning] John…
ARCHIVIST
What? She’s talking complete rubbish!
UNNAMED
Have you been there, then? Have you fled through the endless cabinets, the, the labels that cut you? The things that ‘put you in your place’?
ARCHIVIST
No…
UNNAMED
So you don’t know!
ARCHIVIST
But I’ve seen it!
I know it.
UNNAMED
Oh, you know it, do you? Did it bleed you?
ARCHIVIST
No, but that’s not actually –
UNNAMED
Then you don’t know it. And you’re not getting my name.
ARCHIVIST
Fine. Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.
…
So… Georgie and Melanie, are they…?
UNNAMED
They’re gone.
Out.
They, they often go out. Sometimes they bring people back, but usually they just go, for a while.
MARTIN
O-kay. Do you know when they’ll be back?
UNNAMED
No. They walk their own path.
ARCHIVIST
Of course they do.
[PAUSE, THEN UNNAMED SIGHS]
UNNAMED
Would you like some food? We have… tins. And biscuits. Although the biscuits are really old.
MARTIN
What’s in the ‘tins’?
UNNAMED
Food.
MARTIN
[Irritated] What food?
UNNAMED
Depends. Most of the labels are gone. Yesterday, I got black beans.
MARTIN
Oh right. And that’s… good?
UNNAMED
Mmhmm.
[MARTIN EXHALES SLOWLY]
MARTIN
Right. Well, I could probably go for a… tin. John?
ARCHIVIST
Any chance you could bring me something back? I’m feeling a little shaky.
MARTIN
Do you need to make a statement?
ARCHIVIST
Actually no. I haven’t since we got down here. I suppose it must be the tunnels. Nice to be a bit more in control, although it does feel… odd.
MARTIN
Well, it’s good to hear. I’ll see what I can find.
UNNAMED
Are you coming?
MARTIN
Yes, yes. Lead the way… you.
UNNAMED
Of course.
[DOOR RATTLES AS THEY LEAVE]
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[FOOTSTEPS]
ARUN
Uh… Martin?
MARTIN
Yeah? Oh, s-sorry, I-I didn’t catch you name.
ARUN
Arun.
MARTIN
Hi Arun, what’s up?
ARUN
Sorry, ju… um, just, um, did you lose a tape recorder? I found this – Oh… Huh.
MARTIN
Yeah, it wasn’t on when you found it, right?
[SLIGHT CHUCKLE]
ARUN
No. Is it yours? I haven’t seen it before, I thought it might be.
MARTIN
Kind of, I guess? They follow us around a bit.
ARUN
Really?
MARTIN
Oh, y-you don’t need to worry. It’s been happening for ages. Before the world changed, even. You can just ignore them.
ARUN
Since before the end?
MARTIN
Yeah, it’s… it’s kind of a long story. Ask the prophets, if you want, they’ll explain.
[TURNS AND STEPS AWAY]
ARUN
You don’t believe in them, do you? In their power?
MARTIN
I… knew them in the old days.
ARUN
So did Laverne.
MARTIN
Yeah, I, I realise that. Just –
Look, it’s complicated, okay? It’s just a big pile of stuff that no-one understands.
ARUN
[Pointedly] I understand they are able to walk through this world without fear or danger. I understand they saved us.
[MARTIN EXHALES HIS IRRITATION]
MARTIN
Cool.
…
Look, you, you should really talk to them about it, okay, I don’t want to say the wrong thing.
ARUN
They said… you also walked through the nightmares. That you ‘share their power’.
MARTIN
Ooh, I’m not sure…
It’s different, alright? W-We’re different.
ARUN
Yes. You are.
When I look at them, I see a future. I see hope. I don’t know what I see when I look at you.
[NOISES OF DISBELIEF FROM MARTIN]
MARTIN
Okay, well… You’re rude.
ARUN
I’m a poet. I speak the truth.
MARTIN
Yeah? Well… your truth is rude! You don’t know anything about us. Who we are, what we’re doing.
ARUN
I know you look at us like we’re idiots. [Martin snorts] You pity us.
MARTIN
That’s not true.
ARUN
Liar!
[Raised voice] Who are you? Just appearing from nowhere with… phantom tape recorders just scuttling in your wake? Why are you here?
MARTIN
[Agitated] We’re here to save the world, okay? Right? If you want more than that, go ask your prophets, okay? Now just… Give me that!
[GRABS RECORDER]
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[DOOR OPENS ON MARTIN’S RETURN; TINS ARE PLACED DOWN]
ARCHIVIST
Any sign of them?
MARTIN
No, but the others say it’s pretty normal for them to be gone this long.
ARCHIVIST
Right.
[CUTLERY SOUNDS]
MARTIN
That said, the, uh, ‘locals’ are getting restless.
ARCHIVIST
Mmm.
MARTIN
I get the impression our welcome isn’t exactly unconditional.
How’s the, uh, fuzziness?
ARCHIVIST
It’s alright. Comes and goes.
MARTIN
Yeah, you don’t seem as bad as you were at Salesa’s. Hopefully you won’t forget everything as soon as you leave the tunnels.
ARCHIVIST
I don’t think I will. It was worse there, though, obviously…
MARTIN
You don’t remember.
ARCHIVIST
I don’t remember.
…
So, what do you think? You reckon they’re going to help?
MARTIN
I mean, they’ve got to, right? You-You’re basically humanity’s only hope.
ARCHIVIST
Huh, I mean… okay, um… [nervous chuckle] I hadn’t really –
MARTIN
Oh s-sorry! That’s probably a bit too much pressure, yeah?
ARCHIVIST
A-A bit?
MARTIN
I-I just meant that, look, either they help or they just sit down here and hope it all magically works itself out. And they can’t really think that’s an option.
Can they?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t know. I know how Georgie gets about people in her care. If she thinks helping us will endanger them…
MARTIN
Yeah. Melanie too.
ARCHIVIST
Mmm.
MARTIN
And you’re sure we can’t find the way up on our own?
ARCHIVIST
Probably not. I’m cut off down here, and the layout seems… different to before.
MARTIN
The Eye isn’t, like, calling you, or something?
ARCHIVIST
Oh, no it is. But I can’t get a clear reading on it down here. It’s kind of maddening, actually. Like being on a street you almost remember but can’t find on a map.
MARTIN
We might have to just try anyway.
ARCHIVIST
Yeah, but without a guide we could be wandering a long time. And apparently there are things wandering about there as well that… might put up some resistance.
MARTIN
Yeah, Laverne mentioned. Do you know what they are?
ARCHIVIST
Yep. They’re, um… They’re Archivists.
MARTIN
Come again?
ARCHIVIST
Did you ever listen to Gertrude’s interview with, uh, Sergeant Heller?
MARTIN
Oh… that’s a blast from the past. Uhhh, I think so? Uh, World War Two, right? Under Alexandria? Saw some monster with a wei–
ARCHIVIST
Mmhmm.
MARTIN
…eye. Right.
ARCHIVIST
I’m not the first Archivist. Not by a long way. Most of the others died like Gertrude, but some… lingered, and, well, let’s just say I’m not the only one that feels the Panopticon calling.
MARTIN
Right.
…
John. If… When we defeat The Eye, the fears… What happens to you?
ARCHIVIST
Nothing good.
I think it depends on what actually happens. If we figure out a way to defeat them, banish them somehow, kick them out of our reality, and back to where they came from, I might… survive. I think I’d stay more or less like this. W-Weaker, but fundamentally still an avatar in a world where the fears are once again lurking on the edges.
MARTIN
But I assume that’s the best case scenario?
ARCHIVIST
Depends on your point of view, I suppose. In the long term all we’d have done is bought some more time.
If, however, we find a way to somehow destroy or, uh, eliminate the powers… I’m not going to be okay. There’s too much of me that’s part of The Eye now. I don’t… know what would be left of me without it. Maybe I just die. Maybe I survive, but I lose… something. My identity. My mind. My… memories. I don’t know.
[FABRIC RUSTLES AS THEY EMBRACE]
Martin, when the time comes, I need you to promise me that you won’t try to stop me.
MARTIN
I promise.
I love you, John.
ARCHIVIST
I love you too.
MARTIN
But I’m not going to doom the world over it.
ARCHIVIST
Thank you.
MARTIN
And you have to promise me you’re going to do everything in your power to live. That you’re not going to sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity, just because you feel guilty about what happened
ARCHIVIST
…
I promise.
MARTIN
Good.
God, I hate these conversations.
ARCHIVIST
Yeah.
Heavy stuff.
MARTIN
I miss small talk.
ARCHIVIST
We could talk about the weather for a bit I-if you like?
MARTIN
Bit difficult underground.
ARCHIVIST
True. In that case I might see if I can get a bit more sleep. Rest up a bit before… you know.
MARTIN
Sure.
ARCHIVIST
Wake me if they get back?
MARTIN
Of course.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[FOOTSTEPS AND CANE TAPS AS MELANIE AND GEORGIE ARE ABOVE GROUND; URBAN DRONE SOUNDS ABOUND]
MELANIE
I do wonder how healthy it is, going to see him like that.
GEORGIE
I know. But… it helps me. I think.
MELANIE
It certainly sounded pretty nasty.
GEORGIE
Well, it didn’t look too much better.
Uh, there’s a bench here, to your left. Do you mind?
MELANIE
Unoccupied?
GEORGIE
For now. Come on.
MELANIE
Sure.
[CANE TAPPING AS MELANIE LOCATES THE BENCH AND THEY SIT]
GEORGIE
It always tickles me. Coming up here for privacy.
MELANIE
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Personally, I think a city full of snooping cameras and staring eyes really sets the mood.
GEORGIE
Of course you do.
[FABRIC RUSTLES]
MELANIE
Everything’s a bit… shit. Isn’t it?
GEORGIE
Not everything.
MELANIE
How did he look?
GEORGIE
He’s happy, I think. Does that… Does that make him evil?
MELANIE
It makes him a cat.
GEORGIE
And, I mean, sure it’s not a great look for Battersea, but watching it… It’s just the gorier bits of a nature documentary on repeat.
MELANIE
There’s nothing natural about this though.
GEORGIE
No.
MELANIE
…
We could still pull him out, y’know, like, like the others.
GEORGIE
No. No. It… It hurts to see him like that, but he’s safer there. If we took him, we’d just be putting him in danger. We might even be putting the others in danger from him.
MELANIE
You’re not still going on about that dream of the giant, murderous tunnel-cat are you?
[GEORGIE SNORTS]
You know you’re not actually a prophet, hon?
GEORGIE
Sure… But by this point, it wouldn’t be the most unlikely thing that’s happened to us.
And it’s not like the tunnels have gotten any safer with them hanging around.
MELANIE
It feels crap, you know, just doing nothing.
GEORGIE
We’re surviving. And trying to help others do the same. That’s not nothing.
MELANIE
True.
Even if it feels like it sometimes.
GEORGIE
…
I still care about him, you know. But getting involved will only make things worse.
MELANIE
We’d better still be talking about the Admiral.
GEORGIE
John’s… doing his best.
MELANIE
Yes. Well, his “best” is us hiding from nightmares in a damp tunnel.
GEORGIE
It’s not his fault. It’s not like he wanted it to happen.
MELANIE
I know that, right! I know. I know. But the truth is, I just don’t like him. I never have… and I’m sick of people acting like I should feel so super-sympathetic towards him, just because he’s had a rough time of it. I’ve had a rough time of it from the second I met him! We all have! And he doesn’t –
GEORGIE
Oh, honey. I –
MELANIE
Okay. I can still hate him, even if I don’t, y’know, blame him but…
[MELANIE EXHALES FRUSTRATEDLY]
GEORGIE
You know, you’re actually quite similar.
MELANIE
Well then at least I hate consistently.
GEORGIE
You should really talk to Laverne about that.
MELANIE
Oh trust me, it came up. Day one I think.
[SAD SOUND OF UNDERSTANDING FROM GEORGIE]
But all that said, we should still help them.
GEORGIE
What could we even do for them if John’s some kind of… all-knowing demigod?
MELANIE
Not down there. Martin says they can’t find a way up into the Institute.
GEORGIE
Too risky. I told you about the things down near the stairs, right?
MELANIE
Oh, ah, yeah.
GEORGIE
We can’t afford to attract their attention.
MELANIE
You’re doing it again.
GEORGIE
[Frustrated] Argh.
MELANIE
Look, you-you’ve been doing so much better recently. I, I know it’s really hard to judge risk without a, a sense of fear –
GEORGIE
But I’m still overcompensating.
MELANIE
Well, I mean, not, not necessarily. It is dangerous. But… I, I don’t see another way out of this. An-And I don’t intend to spend the rest of eternity sleeping in a tunnel playing ‘mystery tin’.
GEORGIE
Not even if it was just the two of us?
MELANIE
Oh, okay. Yes, well… maybe I, I could handle that for a bit. But if there’s even a small chance we could put things back…
GEORGIE
You’re right. I know you’re right. I just hate getting involved.
MELANIE
We’ve always been involved, right?
GEORGIE
Yeah.
MELANIE
A-A-At least now it’s on our terms. This way you can get back to podcasting about monsters, rather than hiding from them.
GEORGIE
[Sigh] Urgh, don’t. I was just thinking about that yesterday. How much I legitimately miss those shitty ad reads. You know, everything happened just as I was recording one?
MELANIE
Oh god, yeah! Um, what was it, uh –
GEORGIE
[Podcaster voice] “Slaughterville: The Town of a Thousand Corpses.”
MELANIE
[Happily] Yes! [chuckles]
GEORGIE
Some god-awful true crime thing based in a Colorado town where there were meant to be, like, three serial killers or something.
MELANIE
Jesus.
GEORGIE
I was so proud of the script I did for it as well. Thought I’d really nailed that schlocky pulp vibe without it being super obvious that I was making fun of them.
MELANIE
Maybe you could do a rendition for the others?
GEORGIE
Not sure how well that would sit alongside Arun’s latest hymn.
[EXAGGERATED SOUND OF DESPAIR FROM MELANIE]
MELANIE
Come on, we’d better head back. It’s probably not a great idea leaving that lot with John and Martin unsupervised.
[SOUNDS OF GETTING UP TO LEAVE]
GEORGIE
Yeah.
MELANIE
So… we help them?
GEORGIE
Well, we’re not going up the tower, but… yeah. I want my cat back.