hi everyone alex here just taking a moment to let you know that this episode’s sponsor is the stormlight archive volume 4 rhythm of war by internationally best-selling author brandon sanderson the stormlight universe is as wild as it is large from the labyrinthine trench city of yodor to the constant shallows of the pure lake and the magic battered slopes of the shattered plains spirits and knights scholars and demons enchanted swords and even the gods themselves all march towards a magical showdown in this newest stormlight archive volume rhythm of war this fourth volume ramps up the tensions that sanderson began with his new york times best sellers the way of kings words of radiance and oathbringer leading everyone to choose a side and it’s available to purchase right now search for rhythm of war or visit the link in this episode’s description and get started on your own epic journey knowing that at the same time you’re helping to support your favorite horror podcast thanks hello everyone it’s johnny we’re playing a game what game you ask i don’t know nobody asked me to do this like two days ago so we’re finding out together uh hello larry sorry to throw you under the bus immediately it is going to be a horror game rpg set in well we’ll figure it out with a title of who knows and uh it’s gonna be using a system of my own design so the real horror is the unknown the real horror is the unknown oh we solved it yes and i am bringing that horror to you all in your ears let us meet our players so first up there is ben meredith hello who are you ben i don’t know okay no we’ve done the horror of the unknown the audience needs to know oh i’m i’m ben i play elias i’d imagine you’d know that by now i’m also another podcast also by the rest quill go listen to them thank you and next up is to my right in my mind because obviously we are in fact miles and miles apart is lydia nicholas who are you lydia i’m amused to start with there was a lot of arguing about alphabetical order uh before this and i should not have come at this point so johnny is already messing with me thank you johnny the true horror is mr sims uh i’m lydia nicholas i play melanie in magnus and i play various characters in rusty cool gaming okay and finally we have uh lowry hello i am lori and i produce the magnus archives and i edit rusty quilt gaming it’s great go listen to that as well listen to it also uh lowry is what you might think of as an easter egg voice in magnus you know you could turn up sometimes sometimes in roles here and there just a hint of welsh somewhere yeah sometimes we’ll be like this role it’s just not welsh enough yeah so sort of like alex you’ve actually done an impression of johnny for pickups several times and no one’s yeah it’s a noticed welsh in this one i don’t know why probably the horror yeah what’s actually uh fun fact a lot of listeners won’t know is that since episode 102 all my lines have actually been delivered by lowry god i wish i was that good we just twist them in post-production let’s let’s let’s figure out what we’re playing so first up we’re going to need a setting where do we want the horror to occur can it be somewhere warm just because it’s really cool yeah it could be somewhere warm oh i’m really hot at the moment but sure oh it’ll involve less acting right so okay let’s split the difference go with somewhere like tepee you know it’s on london some were just just really temperate like the horrors who occur in a bath that i’ve left for three hours we could have yeah we could have a horror in a spa oh yeah just for horror why not an abandoned spa an abandoned water park or an abandoned water we’ll see how we’ll see how things uh we’ll see how things feel so adventure is going to take place in a water park and i am now going to roll up the title because i have created entirely for my own amusement this is not available through mcguffin and company mine and sasha’s games company it’s not available anywhere except on my computer i’ve i’ve created a cosmic horror sort of cthulhu-esque title generator do you know how much people would pay for that advertising space for like the thing that you’re like available on my computer this cosmic title is mine it’s really suitable for fans of the magnus archives and rusty cool gaming may be stellar firmer as well since you like a beat it’s mine yes it’s mine lid you could they can’t have it suitable for them they can’t have it i don’t know maybe maybe i’ll format it as a pdf i’ll whip out my graphic design skills you’re gonna need to let me know if you actually want to do that because papyrus if i don’t cut that out there’s gonna be demand so i’m gonna say how many words do we want this title to be probably three or four yeah i was going for four or five so okay well okay let’s let’s say let’s say uh four but one of them is going to be a preposition yeah because you want a night of the living dead for a walk absolutely absolutely words we’ve got uh we’ve got abyss twilight and 75 soldier oh which is unexpected but interesting and finally our preposition is before this abyss before soldier someone like before the abyss of the twilight soldier or the twilight abyss the twilight before the soldier abyss you know what i don’t think i’m not i’m not feeling the word soldier in this one spa yeah yeah we’re in a water park just having a nice day and then a rambo yeah i i’ve decided uh i’ve i’ve decided to discount soldier because yeah otherwise it’s it’s waterpark rambo you know with cosmic we are actually going for straight horror here there may be absurd elements but the idea that rambo rocks up maybe absurd too absurd uh the new word is blind oh so it will be before the twilight of the blind abyss so we are playing the adventure before the twilight of the blind abyss oh so it’s actually midday then if it’s before twilight it’s nice well i mean to begin with to begin with okay gets darker and uh it will be at a water park so who do you want to be playing let’s let’s have some character creation you could be a water park attendant you could be a water park attendee those are basically the options i think i would like to play a an investigator from the board of health and safety here to test the hygiene in the water park brilliant that’s nice i was gonna say i’d quite like to be the caretaker of the water park caretaker brilliant are you wearing a rubber mask are we gonna have to take off at some point yes and lid i mean i’m torn between either being management who is deeply invested in uh not receiving a poor health and safety rating or lower management who are only mildly invested in that and also don’t have any idea what’s going on or a guest pretending to be one would you be one of those uh a summer teen who’s like got a part-time job at the water park uh yeah yeah i could i could do i could do that but i’ve i’m trying for management so like ah vicious summer teen you really think that your your summer waterpark job is is going somewhere this is yes yes brilliant the serious summer teen summer teen lifeguard yes yes oh i think you were a lifeguard in the last thing we played together in um oh no i was a lifeguard that was afraid of water yeah yeah yeah but that was comedy and this is serious yeah this is definitely going to be serious this deeply seriously i just really like playing livestream serious serious horror in a serious water park with a serious blind abyss twilight issue it’s got some really bad twilight problems oh my god are there shiny vampires no there are not shiny vampires serious vampires very very matte vampires i can’t believe none of you are taking this seriously so basic system 2d6 your standard target is an 8 it can increase to a 10 or 12 if it’s really hard or go down to a 6 if it’s very easy you’ll have four four sort of traits for four aspects if one of them is relevant you can lower it by two you can also lower your target by two by essentially i’ve stolen the devil’s bargain mechanic from blades in the dark which is if you negotiate a bad consequence with me it will make it easier for you you’ll also have a couple of abilities that you can just things you can just do everything is broadly hit point based you’ll start with seven hit points if you take physical damage you lose hit points if you get scared you might lose hit points if you really embarrass yourself maybe you’ll lose hit points so this this represents physical emotional and psychological strength yeah it’s just it’s just it’s just how many hits you can take whatever form the hits come in tammy you can take quite a real to so if you insult us really badly maybe it’s a hit point maybe it’s a hit point cool yeah and uh if you’re if you’re out of hit points you are incapacitated as appropriate maybe you run away party crime yeah maybe you may yeah maybe you die if you lose your last hit point like wrestling the worm that resides within the earth and silently bides its time until it rises and wipes humanity from the face of its planet then probably you die then probably run away crying because that worm has some real zingers it’s it’s very thinking about cruel jibes less the spirit of the staircase more the spirit of the eternal void just spend two eons just sat in the center of planet earth being like i should have said i should have said you’re the spineless one [Laughter] so ben you’re an investigator how would you how are you imagining him how are you picturing or or her or them i’ll i’ll i’ll i’ll go with a with a bloke for now and i think i mean we’re at a water park we’re going to be pretty pretty cookie cutter schlock horror so i’m definitely an uptight bureaucrat who has a vendetta against this park because the i asked the owner out on a date once and they said no so i’m going to close this it’s okay it’s it’s that blo i’m playing that bloke from bob’s burgers the shirt okay brilliant that’s that’s what’s happened here so i’m gonna give you the four traits uptight bureaucrat probably probably vengeful cool and let’s let’s say we probably want you to have a like good thing science what’s what’s one yeah like what’s one good thing about your about your investigator i’ve got my water van i’ve got science i can i can test things i can ph balances you know looking at looking are there any turds in the pool you know magnifying glass for that you know in which case i’m going to give you the trade analytics yeah i’ve got my piss sonar you know all the standard water park stuff what what’s what’s the what’s the the right like the thing is you haven’t really said any bad words exactly i love the skirt i love to skirt around it you’ve just been gross okay what about uh you lid what’s your summer teen lifeguard like i think i’m gonna play a ditsy bloke brilliant he’s gonna be sporty he’s gonna look like something out of baywatch graham so that yeah himbo himbo bloke but really really like earnest so i’m not kind of trying to you know hide things to protect management i really believe in mr calcifer who’s like he’s the boss brilliant who i just i really i really is just he just i really look up to him um and and i think that i’ve really got a career out here at the water park of the of the twilight abyss no that’s not that’s not the name of them no no no it’s it’s called slide world with a white wolf yeah i really believe in that i was earnest truthful i probably got if we’re thinking equipment in the way that ben’s got like analytical stuff i’ve got like sports sports or like water safety gear so you know i’ve got a whistle i’ve got probably a life jacket okay uh what i’ve got down for you yeah is your first trait is himbo yep and i’ve also put ernest dedicated and loud whistle okay not not like strong or loud whistle is a very specific one does that come under him yeah i feel like himbo is like a very broad one like kimbo’s i think one you’re going to be getting to apply a lot that’s cool so i’m okay giving you one that’s just like you’ve got a whistle yeah cool so i don’t want to shock anyone but i’m pretty sure the owner of the water park is a skeleton because his name is mr calcifer and i refuse to believe that anybody who’s not actually a skeleton i mean you’ve seen him you’ve seen him he’s very thin i mean admittedly he does wear like those big hats and those huge shades yeah even even in the winter but crucially you don’t see him that’s just because he’s he’s had a lot of chlorine damage to his skin that’s what happens when you dedicate yourself to uh to safety and fun for all the family he’s taken a lot on himself including serious chlorine damage so he needs to like cover cover his skin because it’s now got a skin condition yeah he was he was he was in a pool cleaning accident he was it was terribly tragic it was uh he’s never like he’s he’s been a bit of a recluse ever since it’s really sad mr leroy calcifer yeah who runs slide world so slide world obviously the logo of which is like it’s a very close-up sort of abstracted cartoony face with a big splash behind it that’s smiling if you look at it too long maybe it’s maybe it looks almost more like it’s screaming no obviously this is screaming with uh screaming if you would like a picture of your experience going down the the hell full uh we can arrange that the the picture doesn’t always show up under normal lighting but uh it’s just because the machine’s broken ignore the extra people let’s finish creating lowry’s character yes hello your caretaker i would like access to infinite cleaning things okay i guess i’m going to say cleaner yeah as a trait like you know always able to find a cupboard of cleaning okay stores you know uh resourceful yeah sure you old as balls yeah oldest balls are we allowed to say balls how old are balls that’s why i wonder i guess it depends who they’re attached to balls well we’ve said it a lot now so either there’s going to be a lot of beeping or we’re going to cut that out well we’re talking about no but it’s old as like this really old rugby ball i found there’s a football that’s been stuck up the school roof for like i think like 50 years you know it’s it’s made of that old ball it was invented in 2003 yeah 17 years ago 2003 ad is 17 years ago johnny do you know what type of seventeen is actually really old you can be very responsible uh so like 17 years old we think yeah has worked that their entire life i would say knows the park inside out and uh cares very deeply okay uh so what would be loyal should we say yeah for your last trait i think i really i’m quite invested in lydia’s character i want them to take over my job because i see the the because you know i need an heir because i am all these balls and who’s gonna look after the park when i’m gone i’m i’m really sorry johnny you were like this is this is super serious we’ve just reinvented scooby doo it’s it’s it’s fine scooby are you saying that scooby-doo isn’t isn’t is that true it’s gonna be scooby-doo but then like shaggy just explodes just awful it’s like it’s gonna be scooby-doo if fred was lost to the abyss you asked fred in fact uh my my name is is freddie not fred freddie brilliant of course i’ve i’ve put down freddie with an ie yeah i don’t know why it just feels yeah it’s proper like with the wires in light is is sort of it’s it’s more um assess responsible i’m very absolutely i’m very responsible ben what’s your investigator’s name gavin crumble oh amazing excellent i don’t know why that’s a work of art but it is and you so clearly know it larry you got a name for your caretaker ms pledge ms pledge wonderful freddie doesn’t have a surname no that’s not relevant he’s like cher [Laughter] so in terms of abilities i’m gonna say ben you have the ability it’s in my truck you can find any mundane piece of equipment by returning to your truck cool and you can find any specialized piece of equipment if you also spend a hit point cool your truck is it’s really badly organized so getting paying anything from the back [Laughter] lowry you know the park like the back of your hand which will be an ability called back of my hand you can you can at any point declare a previously unknown section of the park uh that you are aware of or like a secret passage or this sort of yeah i know a shortcut yeah if you spend a hit point it is known only to you and it is not something that other people in the park would know about right and lid you you your ability is also called himbo at any point you can declare that your lack of understanding of something has granted you light immunity from it okay if it is an imminent danger like if it is a legitimate danger uh you will be required to spend a hit point to use that okay so you have the final boy power yeah yeah yeah just it’s all right what as the tentacles rise behind what it’s fine it’s a weird octopus it’s all right i saw it in aquarium oh yeah mr kelsova said there were some new rides coming um and i would uh i wouldn’t possibly be able to understand how they would operate so it makes sense so finally you all have seven hit points yay all right your characters are complete so it’s a quiet day at slide world you know the the the midday sun is shining down the water is crystal clear except for the water in the hell drop which is artificially dyed a very sort of deep black that’s a code violation it’s when a truck well a van pulls up in front of the admissions like the long ambitions line which you know it’s it’s not it’s not quite as long and quite as full as you’d hope for a summer day like this but you know as we’ve established is quite a temperate summer day so it’s you know late summer almost early autumn and outsteps gavin crumble would you describe mr crumble then uh yes so um gavin crumble is six foot five rake thin has
very very nice hair but it’s almost certainly a wig no one’s seen it but everyone suspects and white guy wearing uh you know your classic sort of brown chinos belted slightly too high he’s got a white shirt with a white short sleeve shirt with some pens in the the top pocket there’s a calculator in there for no particular reason because his job doesn’t really need maths and he’s got of course a clipboard and a biro yeah and he’s got a clipboard and a biro which he is already tapping uh impatiently okay you see before you the admissions line for slide world leading up to a single kiosk where one slightly slowly harried looking young woman is sort of taking tickets and selling admissions excuse me though marmot say we’ve got a a a and you have to wait in line sir no i am no i don’t think you understand i’m from the department of health i’m the health inspector oh the help can i see some can i see some idea oh yes of course and he kind of gets this little little plastic wallet with like the badge of the department of health on it and flips it open like he thinks he’s an fbi agent and it does have his id in there but cool i’m gonna ask for a role not this is not to see if if she believes you she does it’s to see if whether she thinks you’re a tool or not this will be a it’ll be a base uh based difficulty of eight can i can i use an ability negatively because i definitely feel like uptight doesn’t help here i i i i don’t think you know what i’m gonna say no also i guess that would just increase the difficulty wouldn’t it yeah that’s yeah system will work yeah uh yeah cool okay so it’s just 2d6 and trying actually i will i’ll lower it by two because you look for bureaucratic and in the sense that like you know it’s about whether she takes it seriously all right okay so duty six i’ve got a uh six or over yeah six or over that is a that was five she sort of looks at you she’s she’s been chewing gum this whole time no she’s a teen and blows a very indifferent bubble oh they’re immune they’re immune to my ways she sort of stands up and she’s like i’ll go talk to mr talcifer wait here yeah yes i will thank you and she leaves freddie what are you up to at the moment uh i’m uh i’m standing at the the top of uh the hellfull if anything i detract slightly from it it’s spooky air because i shine yeah everyone just glow really everyone just before they go into like the big ominous hole yeah like the lines backing up because everyone’s just taking a couple of extra seconds just to kind of like yeah stare at you and be like i kind of i kind of imagine freddie to be like and this will sound weird but he’s so he’s got he’s wearing like a hawaiian shirt thing that’s open over swimming trunks but absolutely the way that i imagine them is sort of ken dollish so it’s like shiny chest but no nipples oh like i’m sure that they have like it’s it’s not that they’re a clone you know it’s not as as far as it’s another easy clone it’s not that they’ve they’ve vanished as as part of surgery or anything else it’s just it’s just because there’s that ken dole vision like obviously you have no well like 17 i’m very old um yeah yeah obviously he has but they’re just they’re just you know sometimes you have those nipples that just kind of seem to blend into a chest yeah you know some sort of combination of size and color means that your eyes just don’t linger on the nipples no no it’s just like just something aggressively wholesome but like also it’s it’s that like kind of wholesome that sort of problematic like you just assume something like it’s too yeah no i’m also enjoying this because yeah we were talking we’re like oh these episodes are probably going to be shorter than a standard rusty cool gaming episode and we’ve taken up multiple minutes talking about freddy’s nittles nipples yeah we’ve taken up multiple nymphs multiple nipples with friends talking about freddy’s nipples anyway yeah they’re all going down into the the hell dive yeah so like the the hell dive is scary because of the water yeah the water the water that comes through has been has been dyed uh dark but also it’s uh is there’s a like cabin entrance and it’s done up like a mouth got like that and got big googly eyes uh and so as you as you go on your rubber raft in it’s very dark and then there’s like oh some like sparkly stuff in there there’s like very light type things going down so it’s all spooky so the uh the last the the last of the current line yeah you know of uh have stopped sort of being like and gone down into the into the hell dive if you can imagine like all american but blackpool that’s what’s wrong yeah yeah there’s something very wrong about that mix also so with with the description i just cannot imagine the opening of that slide not looking like the cookie monster yeah yeah but like slightly run down yeah yeah no thing is at this at the start it looked like a properly scary like demon face yeah but by now it is kind of run down to the point where like it could conceivably be the cookie monster but like a dragon if mr blobby and the cookie monster had some sort of god-awful offspring okay okay okay okay this is a light-hearted horror show let’s be careful with the imagery yeah and americans do not look up mr blobby google mr blobby okay so anyway freddie you notice like it’s now your brother look yeah and you notice uh liz from the admissions desk yep just standing off to one side like just just scrolling her phone uh liz is it is it your break uh it’s just because you know that we’re uh yeah that cares about the attention you pay because yeah yeah yeah no it’s safe there’s a yeah well there’s there’s a there’s a guy there and uh i think uh mr probably wants to know about him oh cause uh he said he’s from the health board she continues scrolling oh oh oh should i should i talk to him oh have you told mr mr cat yeah i don’t know where he is oh okay well i’ll i’ll i’ll go i’ll go help him find him yep how about okay how about we do that all right uh you you enjoy your break but then as soon as it’s over uh you know um yeah no i will because the the queue is just backing up now is a oh yeah no no no it’s fun i’m on it i’m on it yeah right okay you know i i believe in you you’ll get a gold star this week i’m sure i’m sure uh cool right uh what was it okay so over here comes into i suppose the the entrance area and again it’s this kind of it just like like shining just somehow he doesn’t oil himself but somehow some people just some people are just cups sweat well yeah some people sweat well uh uh excuse me uh freddie has gone up to just a random old man excuse me um are you uh are you the the the man that needs to see mr kelsifer i i heard that there was um who that is an important official man oh oh well winston cousin is very important um i’m gonna be uh he’s a very good boss my name is algernon well janon that’s good to know i’m coming to this park for my joints you know oh right that’s that’s very good i would say there’s this doctor recommended sliding down terrifying water slides yeah we’re uh it’s very it’s medicinal uh here is very very health inducing uh i will be the judge of how health inducing it is i believe you’re looking for me oh oh uh oh no i didn’t do it algenon starts to run [Laughter] very fast for an old man is this what did his joints in just fleeing for any official oh no uh mr mr algernon sir uh please don’t run there’s uh there’s there’s nothing to be afraid of here it’s too late i’m very far away now running in the water park well that’s uh running outside away from the water park i’m running away from it oh water park is so scary that old men run away from it well that’s a violation it’s not important pc that will recur i i think you just traumatized him sir there’s a a figure a four foot eleven figure lurking in the shadows clutching a mop wearing you know one of those house coats floral house coats yes that’s the uniform of miss pledge that’s amazing she’s gonna pull freddie to one side oh miss miss pledge miss pledge uh can i help you yeah bye yeah this is it right i think this is your big chance you see that man there very important man oh he’s going to have the power oh the power yeah the power to judge us and this park and therefore you and the job you have done so far this is it boy this is my time for your graduation oh good goodness miss mr council said that i might get full time yeah if uh i know i i know okay i’m so proud right baby do you have a button on your shirt and tweet that man no i don’t have any buttons on the on the show they just fall off somehow i don’t know none of this is in any way subtle you can hear every word oh i’m looking over my clipboard judgmentally at them yeah right well i’d better go and and and live up to my destiny then uh miss pledge boy i’m behind you every step of the way you leave that shirt with me later and i’ll put some buttons on it for you okay i mean i do put buttons on but they just fall off i don’t i know boy i sweep them up daily just popping off as you’re eating your cereal the world just objects uh but anyway freddie used to be in tour i’m guessing this just that entertaining area of like how gavin crumble is actually taller than him but still somehow assume it feels like he’s looking up at him and it’s irritated i don’t know yeah though i’m like i’m definitely taller but but i am definitely not as heavy chunky mosques muscles my skulls uh just from all those picking stuff up and putting them down which i do uh different places different ways uh anyway uh hello um uh mr uh sir mister uh could i uh help you uh at all uh today um showing you around our lovely uh facilities yes yes i suppose so getting one of the lower level staff to show me around means that there’s going to be uh shenanigans on one of the highest of our rides uh yes that that’s not what i meant but uh sure uh yes if you could start the uh the tour right now i’ll be very good i believe in you boy cut to a nearby balcony where a thin figure thin fingers are clutched around binoculars that trace the path of gavin crumble freddie and miss pledge as they enter the park i assume is miss pledge part of the group or oh she’s following kind of just just glowing with pride i don’t know trying to be inconspicuous because she thinks she still hasn’t been noticed by um gavin crumble so gavin do you have a specific place that you want to start with or are you just happy to let freddie show you i i would imagine because surprise surprise i don’t actually know how swimming pools keep their water not disgusting but i think there’s probably a big room full of machines with regulators and readouts and stuff because people need to know this kind of stuff so i want to go there oh you want to go to the chemical rooms yes yes sir uh we can show you around the back we’ve actually got several hub sites in which we clean uh the water uh the water further the hell right hellfull is are done separately because that has to have the dye added you don’t want the other water to get dark because that would be spooky you don’t want like the little kids to be spooked out when they’re going around splashy splashland or or fluttery bye-byes yes and of course having opaque water means that it’s very hard to see if somebody’s in distress which is again a mark right let’s well yes let’s have a look at that um that hell ride walk uh fluttery bye-bye is uh you pass fluttery bye-bye which is uh uh it’s it’s for children only yeah and it’s largely because children are light enough that it sort of rather than going into the water it just sort of flings them out over this huge pool and like it’s meant to be that you can sort of flap your wings like a butterfly but actually there’s just children like tumbling through the air before uh landing in the water they’ve got um the little rubber rings there and have little colorful oh very pretty but it is the thing is the fluffy things don’t actually work as designed they don’t flap what they do is change the airflow so the children just spin around gyroscopic lots of screaming lots of beautiful photos yeah but that like i mean the kids love it yeah probably yeah yeah mr castle hasn’t really checked so as we go past there’s a screams of delight uh you’ll you’ll hear we’ve got lots of safety uh around the park just overflowing with safety but not overflowing uh staying in uh controlled flow safety there’s always a fluttery pipe and then we’ve got uh we’ve got the spinning top which uh you’ll see is for the younger teens you know the log flume uh which is a very slow it there’s no fluming going on at all really no actual vlog it’s the log flume is just a sli it’s just a slide it’s just a version just it’s it’s a very small slide it’s the sort of one where you find it that people find themselves like pushing themselves along it’s advertised as a log flume because people love log flumes but it’s not actually a log flume but that’s that’s for the the more delicate of constitution it goes slowly and gently so i’m not you can actually if you want to speed it up walk along so you arrive at the the metal door that leads down the stairs into the pump room so this is the the the it says on the front caution keep out pumps is it is it we’re not approaching twilight are we it’s still quite long oh it’s like it’s mid afternoon it’s mid afternoon yeah i’m i’m guessing this is around the back of the flume and so it’s so kind of shady there’s trees planted around because we don’t want this sort of thing to to stand out too much anyone that’s played planet zoo knows that we need to keep the people away from the equipment or they get sad so it says keep out but that is for the public obviously i uh freddie waves uh his id uh it’s a picture of him it looks like it was taken earlier this morning like he’s wearing the exact same stuff he’s exactly as oiled his hair’s going in the same direction it’s quite spooky yeah um i will just uh swipe swipes the mechanical lock does not react oh um hey boy use my pass give me one one second yeah okay i think i have decided that um miss pledge believes she’s invisible to people she doesn’t want to see her so she thinks you can still take the credit for all of this yeah here we go i never know oh thank you uh freddie comes up and and shows the pass again but not currently in a way it is it is a mechanical lock it is like both you and ms pledge have keys oh okay oh right um uh freddie is panicking i suppose he’s not realizing um right can i roll himbo to to just assume that whacking it with whacking a mechanical lock with a pass actually makes it work yeah do it do it sure you nee you need a six i need a six cool oh freddie did not roll high freddie rolled a three you’re just sort of waving the pass in front of it when a thin voice comes from behind you [Music] do you need some help there freddie oh mr calcifer yeah oh um i oh thank you so much sir you always know when i need help such a good boss reaches past you and unlocks the door and opens it i’m sorry we probably haven’t been introduced i’m freddie no yes i know hello freddie and hello mr rumble was it yes are you the owner of this fine establishment [Music] that’s how he says yes sometimes yes yes as much as one can own water and what lurks within it i was more talking about the the equipment that holds the um the water and the oh yes i do own the equipment and technically the land good yes you are making a report to your superiors yes on the safety of the park yes now if you don’t mind this fine young gentleman is showing me around excellent accident i just yes good good good you take as much time as you need just make make sure that you spend plenty of time looking into the hell dive i think you’ll find it most enlightening the um the hell dive is the deep part of the hellfall it’s it’s the scariest bit right the hell full dreadfully sorry i always i always get the name confused enjoy yourself mr crumble i will not he’s sort of he he’s like it is sort of walking but he sort of glides away oh that was uh that was a very that was him being particularly friendly uh mr crumble you’re very honored uh i’ve not had that many long conversations with mr cows furries he’s very busy man so i’ll just i’ll show you through this door then and the long like the weirdly long staircase going down into the earth towards the pump room falls away in front of you as in like it stretches stretch right yeah because i was a little late like he doesn’t fall away it stretches yeah no no no it stretches away in front of you and i’m probably going to call it there for this episode before we descend into the pump rooms that are probably definitely fine yeah it’ll be totally normal yeah absolutely a lovely day at a lovely water park slide world bye bye [Music] this episode is distributed by rusty quill and licensed under a creative commons attribution non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license for more information visit rustyquill.com tweet us at the rusty quill visit us on facebook or email us at mail at rustyquill.com thanks for listening acast powers some of the world’s best podcasts here’s a show we recommend i’m sonja pfeiffer award-winning journalist and criminal defense attorney i’m david rudolph i represented michael peterson in the murder trial that became the netflix documentary the staircase abuse of power is an original podcast that examines the impact of wrongful convictions we will reveal the frightening ways in which innocent people can find themselves wrongfully convicted imprisoned and even executed subscribe to the show on apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts